FINAL DESTINATION CAUSED AN ALTERATION FLIGHT 180’S PRIMED, COME ON, LET’S GET AWAY, WE CAN’T WAIT TO FLY, COME ON, HOLD UP, NO WAIT. THERE IS SOMETHING REALLY WRONG ROUND HERE, A PREMONITION, NOW WE SHOULD DISAPPEAR. WE MESSED THE DESIGN, SEEMS THAT NOW WE’RE SCREWED, YOU GOT A MACK DADDY PISSED, HE’S COMING FOR YOU, YOU’RE DONE NOW! STRANGULATION HEY TOD, SORRY MATE, DIDN’T GET THERE IN TIME. AMPUTATION, WE’RE GONNA MEET OUR FATE, WATCH OUT FOR THAT SIGN. IN ALL MY LIFE I NEVER HAVE SEEN A DUDE WIRE-FENCED SEVERED. COASTER BROKE, LOOK OUT THEY’RE HURLED, GAME ON! FINAL DESTINATION TANNING DATE THEY’RE FRIED, COME ON, TIRE MUTILATION NASCAR GENOCIDE, COME ON, DECAPITATE THERE’S A PRESENCE ALL AROUND I FEAR, I SEE A LOG TRUCK, I GUESS I BETTER VEER. SOME SQUISHY KARMA, FROM A SPA STATUE, WE GOT A REALLY GREAT, GRILLED ARM BAR-B-QUE, IT’S GONE NOW. DECIMATION, SOME TANKS DETONATE, THEN OUR HERO FLIES. LACERATION, DON’T GET ACCLIMATED TO HAVING BOTH EYES. GET OFF THAT ELEVATOR, CRUSHED BY TUB, JOHN’S A CRATER, COMING FOR EACH BOY AND GIRL, YOU’RE GONE. FINAL DESTINATION BOWEL EVACUATION BIFURCATE YOUR MIND, COME ON, NOW THERE’S A WAIT AT THE DRIVE-THRU. SEPARATE YOUR SPINE, COME ON, GIVE IT AN 8 ...EH POINT 2 WE’RE GONNA GO SEE BLOODWORTH TONIGHT, THEY SIGNS AWAIT, WE’RE ALL RIGHT MS. LEWTON’S MOVING ON WITH HER LIFE, JOHN DENVER PLAYS, OOOH, THERE’S A KNIFE. I’M WORRIED THAT KAT’S BEEN HITTING THE PIPE, (DESTINATION) AND EVAN, JUST OUT OF SIGHT. NOW ANDY WOULD LOOK REAL GOOD IN A STEW, (DESTINATION) YOU DON’T CATCH THE BUS, IT CATCHES YOU. WOO HOO FINAL DESTINATION WOO HOO RUNNING OUT OF TIME RUNNING OUT OF TIME

I NEVER THOUGHT I’D EVER LEAVE MY MORAL PARADIGM, AND THEN I STUMBLED ON THIS BIKER ACUPUNCTURED MIME. UNTIL THAT DAY MY KINK WAS JUST PORNHUB AND LUBE BUT THEN I SOLVED HIS RUBIK’S CUBE… YEAH. PINHEAD IS HERE, WITH BUTTERBALL AND THEIR PLUS TWO, DON’T YOU MISCONSTRUE, THEY’RE GONNA BRING PLEASURE AND PAIN TO YOU.. AND JULIA FINDS, SOME FODDER TO BE MAULED, A HELL OF A FEE, FOR A BOOTY CALL. I MUST BE CRAZY HANGING WITH THIS EVIL GOOPY CLAN, AND I DON’T MIND AS WELL, THAT I CAME BACK A STRAWBERRY FLAN. I’LL SHOW YOU MY INSIDES, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SUCH SIGHTS? CENOBITES I GOT IT WRONG, THIS AIN’T A GAME, I SOLVED THE BOX AND THEN THEY CAME. IT’S LIKE I HANDED MYSELF TO THESE HEATHENS A LA CARTE. SO BRING SOME MEN, AND DON’T YOU SKIMP, GUESS JULIA’S A BLOODY PIMP, THIS GIG IS UP, THEY’RE GONNA TEAR MY SOUL APART. IT’S ALL GONE CRAZY, NOW I’M FACE/OFF WITH ANOTHER MAN, MY GIRL’S ALIVE, OH WELL, GUESS SHE DIDN’T SEE THAT KNIFE MY HAND, JUST KEEP THOSE TEARS INSIDE, DON’T WASTE ALL THAT SUFFERING, AIGHT? CENOBITE KIRSTY WAKES HAZY, AND SHE TRIES TO MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND, HER DAD AIN’T DOING WELL, HE’S SCRIBBLING WITH HIS BLOODY HAND. AND NOW THE BITCH IS BACK, SO TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT SNOW WHITE. CENOBITE. YEAH UP IN THE ATTIC, EVERYBODY NEEDS A DRIPPING PAN. AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, SOME DOCTOR HAS CONCOCTED A PLAN. SWISS ARMY TENTACLES, BUT HEY THAT PINHEAD’S ALRIGHT, CENOBITE.

THEY’RE GONNA GET RE-ANIMATED YOU SAY YOU’RE DADDY CASHED IN, AND NOW YOUR CAT IS DECEASED. SCRAP THE FUNERAL, SAVE THE MONEY ON THAT TOMB. DOCTOR WEST HAS GOT THE LOWEST OF FEES. BEFORE YOU KNOW, YOU’RE HEARING MEOW, DETAILS WILL COME LATER, BUT YOU GET RESULTS NOW, YOUR LOVED ONES HEADING DOWN THE WATERS OF STYX SO HURRY BAG ‘EM UP, CALL ‘EM UP, RAISE ‘EM UP, IT’S ALIVE HEY! WITH JUST A LITTLE SHOT OF GREEN. CHECK IT OUT, THEY’RE GONNA GET RE-ANIMATED. HEY! WELL THEY AIN'T RESURRECTED MEAN. DON’T HOLD OUT, THEY'RE GONNA GET RE-ANIMATED. HE’S A MODERN FRANKENSTEIN, OR A FRANKENSTEEN, AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME HEY, SO DON’T DECAY! DON'T TALK TO HIM ‘BOUT THE SCIENCE, IT ONLY MAKES HIM IRATE. GET DOWN TO THE MORGUE CUZ HE’S RUNNING A SALE, SMALL PRICE WASTED, JUST TO STICK IT TO FATE. AND YOU’LL KEEP ON SAYING WHAT WAS I WAITING FOR, FIRST FEW DAYS ARE HARDER, YOU’LL GET USED TO THE GORE. YOU SIMPLY WON’T BELIEVE ALL THE THINGS HE INCUBATES AND WITH HIS FLASKS AND HIS SCOPE, HE’LL GIVE YOU HOPE, HE’LL GIVE YOU HEY! HE JUST INJECTS IT IN THE SPLEEN. CHECK IT OUT, THEY’RE GONNA GET REANIMATED. SAY, YOU’RE THE DAUGHTER OF THE DEAN? DON’T YOU POUT, HE’S GONNA GET REANIMATED. HEY-AY SOON YOU WILL FIND, THEY ONLY WANT HUGS, NOT HUMAN FLESH OF ANY KIND. HEY-AY, COME OUT AND PAY! QUALITY’S OUR CLAIM, SO JUST HAND HIM YOUR BREAD. IF YOU'VE GOT A COUPON, HE MAY THROW IN SOME HEAD. THERE AIN’T NO WARRANTY, BUT YELP REVIEWS HAVE BEEN GREAT, AND SO BEFORE YOU SAY NOPE, DON’T YOU SAY NOPE, DON’T YOU SAY HEY! GET THE WALKER OF YOUR DREAMS, CHECK IT OUT, THEY’RE GONNA GET RE-ANIMATED. HEY! CRAZY SIDE EFFECTS IT SEEMS. JUST CHECK OUT, THEY’RE GONNA GET RE-ANIMATED. YOU MAY BE SO SATISFIED, IF LONELY YOU BE, YOU'LL COME BACK LOOKING FOR A BRIDE HEY-AY, SO WHAT YOU SAY?

WE WERE CAMP COUNSELORS IN LOVE, IN THE WOODS OF NEW JERSEY, WENT SWIMMING IN THE BUFF. THOUGH THIS MAY NOT END WELL, WE WERE CARELESS AND BORED, AND FEELING HORNY AS HELL. I THINK WE’RE SAFE, AND THIS CAMP’S A DRAG, SO COME GET BANGED IN MY SLEEPING BAG. IT SEEMS THE LAST MISTAKE, THAT WE’RE EVER GONNA MAKE, IS HAVING OUR FIRST DATE AT CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE. THE WATER’S GREAT, AND THE MOON’S A-GLOW. FOR OUR NIGHT OF LOVE, YEAH, I’M SURE THAT WE’RE ALONE. YOU WRAPPED ME UP, IN A PSYCHIC HEX, I WAS A STRAPPY, BEEFY, JOCK WITHOUT AN OEDIPUS COMPLEX. YOU SAID THERE’S NO ONE LIKE ME IN THIS WORLD, I SAID YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MY FINAL GIRL. WHO KNEW THE LAST MISTAKE, THAT WE’RE EVER GONNA MAKE, WAS HAVING OUR FIRST DATE AT CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE. THE NIGHT GOT DARKER & I FELT THE FEAR, AS WE BRACED AGAINST THE WIND, I HELD YOU CLOSE, AND WHISPERED IN YOUR EAR, PLEASE SAVE MY BACON. YOU RAN SCREAMING INTO THE WOODS, AS YOU TORE OUR LOVE APART, WAS IT YOU OR THE MACHETE, THAT FINALLY BROKE MY HEART. WILL IT BE, THAT THE END OF ME, COULD FILL A BURLAP BAG. OR CAMOUFLAGED, OR IN A HOCKEY MASK, OR A PSYCHO HAG!!! GOODBYE MY LOVE, I WISH YOU WELL, EVEN THOUGH YOU LEFT ME HERE & GOT YOUR ASS OUT OF THIS HELL. BUT I FEAR YOU TOO ARE FORKED, BECAUSE I JUST SAW YOU ESCAPE ABOARD A BOAT BOUND FOR NEW YORK. NOW IT’S CLEAR THAT OUR LOVE IS DEAD, WE PROBABLY SHOULD’VE DONE OUR JOBS INSTEAD. CUZ NOW THE LAST MISTAKE, THAT WE’RE EVER GONNA MAKE, WAS HAVING OUR FIRST DATE AT CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE. OH YEAH, THE LAST MISTAKE, THAT WE’RE EVER GONNA MAKE, WAS HAVING OUR FIRST DATE AT CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE.

BEFORE YOU HEAR ME SNORE, IF I START TO CLOSE MY EYES, POKE ME, MAKE IT PAINFUL. SO I DON’T SEE THAT GUY. HE SMELLS LIKE BURNT LEATHER, AND I THINK I MAY HURL. JUST POUR SOME ESPRESSO, CUZ HIS FUCKING FLESH YO, DON’T FALL ASLEEP. BE MY HERO, WHY THE HELL DID GLEN DISAPPEAR. BLOODY CHANDELIER… IN HIS RED AND GREEN SHIRT, HE CAME HERE TO EXPLAIN, I’VE GOT THE PERFECT BODY, HE’S GOT THE PERFECT BRAINS. BUT I THINK THIS DEAL’S BOGUS, I'M ABOUT TO THROW DOWN. LET'S FUCKING WRESTLE, BITCH I AIN'T YOUR VESSEL. DON’T FALL ASLEEP, FEEL HIM NEAR THOUGH, WHAT THE HELL HE’S A PUPPETEER, SICK USE OF THOSE SHEARS… OH OH… HE’S COMING BACK FOR MORE, SHE WON’T CHECK OUT, SHE'S A… A… A… BUG… NUNS… DON’T WANNA TAKE A NAPPY, THIS RAZOR NUBBED PUNK, HAS JUST MET HIS EQUAL, AT LEAST TIL THE SEQUEL. DON’T FALL ASLEEP, MISTER SEARED BRO. BACK TO HELL WITH YOUR RANK CASHMERE, I’VE FACED ALL MY FEARS. THERE’S STILL CREEPY KIDS HERE.

I REMEMBER WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL, THEY CALLED ME LOSER, GEEK, DWEEB, SAID I WASN’T COOL. ONE DAY SOME DUDES REALLY BROUGHT THE HURT, CUZ I WORE MY FREDDY KRUEGER SHIRT, YEAH. SO I WENT HOME, BACK TO MY SOLITUDE, WITH A USED VCR AND A PICTURE TUBE. HALLOWEEN, CHUD, AND CHOPPING MALL, KEPT ME SAFE WITHIN THESE HALLOWED WALLS. I FINALLY FOUND A PLACE WHERE I BELONG, NOW THE CRICKETS ARE CHIRPING AND IT WON’T BE LONG. HEY, JOE BOB GIVE US THE TOTALS, CUZ WE MADE IT THROUGH. HEY, JOE BOB GIVE US THE TOTALS, GONNA HEAR US SHOUT, I’M A TERROR WHORE, I’M NEEDING SEX AND GORE, I AIN’T NEVER GONNA CHANGE WHO I AM. SO IF YOU WANNA BE FREE, COME BREAK WITH ME, WELCOME TO THE MUTANT FAM. WHEN THE WEEK’S BEEN LONG, AND YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT, THEN THE DRIVE-IN’S THE PLACE TO GET AWAY FROM IT. A LEGENDARY, VERY SCARY LIFE RETREAT, AND JUST MY LUCK, HOLY FUCK, A DARCY RETWEET, YEAH. WHO’D HAVE EVER THOUGHT WE’D BRING UNITY, TO THIS GRISTLE LOVING, TAD MESSED UP COMMUNITY. THEN THE WORLD’S GREATEST HOST STATED PUBLICLY, THAT WE’D ALL BE GRACED WITH A SEASON THREE. EVERYBODY GOT WET WHEN THEY HEARD THE NEWS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, AND I THINK YOU DO! HEY, JOE BOB GIVE US THE TOTALS, CUZ WE MADE IT THROUGH. HEY, JOE BOB GIVE US THE TOTALS, GONNA HEAR US SHOUT, I’M A TERROR WHORE, I’M NEEDING SEX AND GORE, I AIN’T NEVER GONNA CHANGE WHO I AM. SO IF YOU WANNA BE FREE, COME BREAK WITH ME, WELCOME TO THE MUTANT FAM. MY WHOLE LIFE WAS JADED, BUT FOUGHT HARD AND MADE IT, A SHOT IN THE ARM, NOW I’M RE-ANIMATED. MY SHIP IS ON COURSE, CUZ I’M TURNING THE RUDDER SEE, TRAPPED BEFORE, BUT I’M FREE, UTTERLY SHUDDER ME, PAIN, COULDN’T STAND, IT, THE FLAME WE ALL FANNED, IGNITED, UNITED, LIKE CRAZED CHILI BANDITS, DEVOURED THE ROUTED, SPIT OUTED, NO FEAR, THEN FINISHED THE BOUT WITH A COLD LONE STAR BEER. WE NEED A NEW ANGLE, FORGET THE OLD-FANGLED, FELISSA ON STAND-BY FOR DICKS THAT GET MANGLED, THEY MAY CALL US MEAN, WE’RE JUST WEIRD AND OBSCENE, AND WE’LL SCREAM WITH OUR QUEEN FOR THE THIRD HALLOWEEN, CUE GRATUITOUS SPEWING, AND BLOOD AND GUTS STEWING, GROIN KICKING, AARDVARKING, AND CHEERLEADER CHEWING, HALF A BODY, FIVE BREAST, “FUCK YOU BOB”, KNOW THAT I, WILL BE WATCHING FOREVER CUZ THE DRIVE IN WON’T DIE! HEY, JOE BOB GIVE US THE TOTALS, CUZ WE MADE IT THROUGH. HEY, JOE BOB GIVE US THE TOTALS, GONNA HEAR US SHOUT, I’M A TERROR WHORE, I’M NEEDING SEX AND GORE, I AIN’T NEVER GONNA CHANGE WHO I AM. SO IF YOU WANNA BE FREE, COME BREAK WITH ME, WELCOME TO THE MUTANT FAM.

GOING FOR A SWIM TODAY CHOMP, CHOMP, AND NOW YOU’RE PREY. JUST KEEP SWIMMING, OPEN WATER, TRY TO STAY AFLOAT. LAST SHARK SHIRKING PLAGARISM, DUDE, THERE’S EVEN EXORCISMS. GOT A BLEED-A, GONNA NEED-A GET A BIGGER BOAT HAD SOME LEGS, THEY’RE GONE, BLAME THE MEGALODON, OH NO, THOSE LIFELESS EYES, PRACTICAL, BAD CGI, TOXIC SHARK HAS GONE GREEN, PSYCHO SHARK’S A WEIRD DREAM, SCARFING FRAT BROS, DOWN IN JERSEY NOW HERE COMES A GREAT WHITE! WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, NOW WE GOT A YEARNING, GET THE CHUM A-CHURNING, WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, WATCH HIM GET IGNITED, WHEN HE TRIES TO BITE IT. SHARKS IN SNOW BY HAPPENSTANCE, BURSTING FROM AN AVALANCHE, HUNGRY FELLA, IN A CELL-A, TRAILER PARK SHOCK. SHARK FREAKS, BINGING STREAK, JUST GIVE US A WHOLE WEEK, SHARK SWARM, CRUEL JAWS, MEGA SHARK V. CROC. INDEED, WE NEED, 20 MORE WITH TARA REID, BULL SHARK BLOCKING WITH A DAM, MISSISSIPPI TO JAPAN, ROBO SHARK UNREST, HAMMERHEAD WITH DOC WEST, AGE TO AGE, ALL THE RAGE, ONE WITH NICHOLAS UN-CAGED! WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, NOW WE GOT A YEARNING, GET THE CHUM A-CHURNING, WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, FIRST YOU SEE A DORSAL, THAN YOU’RE JUST A MORSEL. CLEAR THE DOCKS, WATCH YOUR BACK, YOU’RE IN FOR A SHARK ATTACK, NAZI ZOMBIES RIDE ON FISHIES THROUGH THE SKY. PRAY THAT THEY GET LOCK JAWS, KILL ‘EM WITH A CHAINSAW, AIN’T SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE, GHOST SHARK ON A SLIP AND SLIDE. NOW THEY’RE GOING LUNAR, SHARKANSAS, MASSACRE, MARITIME GALLOWS, NOT SAFE IN THE SHALLOWS, YOU’D THINK MAYBE WE, WOULDN’T MESS WITH THEIR CHEMISTRY, OUIJA SHARK AND HERE COMES A SHARKNADO! WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, NOW WE GOT A YEARNING, GET THE CHUM A-CHURNING, WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, 47 METERS, MEET SOME BOTTOM FEEDERS. EVERYDAY, FINS WIN, NOW’S THE NIGHT FOR THEIR KIN, REQUIN, JUST SWIM, MAY JUST LOSE A FEW LIMBS. EVERYWHERE SHARK MANIA, EVEN TRANSYLVANIA, KINTNER, DRIP PAN, HOUSE SHARK EATS FROM THE CAN. SPRING BREAK SHARK ATTACK, SAMUEL L’S A SHARKY SNACK, SO IT GOES, WE’RE ALL HOSED, SHOULD’VE KEPT THE BEACHES CLOSED! WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, NOW WE GOT A YEARNING, GET THE CHUM A-CHURNING, WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, OH WELL HERE’S TO SWIMMIN’, WITH BOW-LEGGED WOMEN. DOWN THE HOLE, SHARK HUNTRESS, OOOH, I SWAM THROUGH SHARKTOPISS, 2 HEADS, 3 HEADS, WAIT, HOLD UP, 5 HEADS. ROARING SHARK WITH PSYCHIC MINDS, SPACE SHARKS OF THE THIRD KIND, CRANK ‘EM FROM THE STUDIO, OIL RIG AND COOLIO. NOAH’S SHARK WAS PETRIFIED, SANTA JAWS JUST BLEEDS YULETIDE, JAWS 19, DEEP BLUE SEA, BREAK GLASS, IN 3-D. SHARK ATTACK FROM MALIBU, BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO, SHARK INVADES A GROCERY STORE, SNIPING CHOPPERS FROM THE CORN! WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, NOW WE GOT A YEARNING GET THE CHUM A-CHURNING, WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE, CUE THAT THEME BY JOHN, AS THEY’RE SWIMMING ON AND ON AND ON… WE ALL HAVE SHARK DESIRE NOW WE’VE GOT A YEARNING, GET THE CHUM A-CHURNING….

MIDSOMMAR’S COMING, GOT MY BAGS PACKED, GUESS MY FAMILY DINNER’S BEEN AXED. CAME HERE TO EARN, MY PHD, NOW I’M HIGH ON MUSHROOM TEA. THEY GATHER HERE, EACH 90 YEARS, TO KICK OFF MIDSOMMAR NIGHTS. SHOW ME MORE, SHOW ME MORE, WHERE’S THE TOUR INGMAR, TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE, GOOGLE TRANSLATE FUTHARK. 30 ROOMIES, FEELS KINDA CRAMPED, SHE HID A RUNIE, GOD WHAT A TRAMP. OH I FORGOT, YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT, WHY’S THAT GUY, UP ON A CLIFF? MIDSOMMAR FUN, NOW IT’S LOGAN’S RUN, JUST STOP THESE MIDSOMMAR RITES. TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE, DID SHE GIVE HIM THE EYE? TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE, WHAT THE HELL’S IN THIS PIE?! SOMEONE’S SPIKING MY LEMONADE, I’M NOT LIKING YOUR ESCAPADES. LEAST I DIDN’T JUST PEE ON TREE, NO, YOU JUST PLAYED, HEREDITARY. MIDSOMMAR FLING, DON’T MEAN WE SWING, NOW IT’S CLEAR THAT MIDSOMMAR BITES. TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE, WHY THEY BUILDING A PYRE? TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE, HERE’S HOW YOU START A FIRE! YOUR DAMNATION’S AT MY COMMAND, GUESS THIS VACATION GOT OUT OF HAND. I CHOOSE YOU, CUZ YOU’RE SO MEAN, I’M SACRIFICED, PICKED BY THE MAY QUEEN! MIDSOMMAR HEAT, SURE BURNS UP CHEATS, IT’S TIME FOR MIDSOMMAR FRIGHTS. TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE, FLOWERS ALL IN MY HAIR. TELL ME MORE, TELL ME MORE, I’M STITCHED UP IN A BEAR. SAID WITH GUILE, TORCH IT AND THEN, WITH A SMILE, THAT’S HOW THIS ENDS. WATCH YOU BURN, HIGH ON MY THRONE, KIND OF WISH, I JUST STAYED HOME. MIDSOMMAR DREAMS, END UP IN SCREAMS, BUT, THOSE…MIDSOMMAR NIGHTS!

SPENDING MY YEARS WITH MY HAWKINS CHILL, RIDING WITH LUCAS AND MIKE AND WILL, FOR HOME, A D & D FIXATION. WILL TOOK A PATH BACK THROUGH THE DARK MIRKWOOD, NOW HE’S UPSIDE DOWN INSIDE OUR NEIGHBORHOOD, HE RAN, TO DIMENSIONS UNSEEN. AND THEN HIS MOM MACGYVERS UP THEIR WHOLE HOMESTEAD, MEANWHILE NANCY WORKS OUT WHICH DUDE TO BED, AND EL, THAT ELEVEN WANTS WAFFLES NOT CRULLERS. AND THEN WITHOUT ANY WARNING, THERE’S SOME FLASHING LIGHTS, IT’S AN ORCHID OF DEATH, WITH A KILLER BITE, AND I SCREAM FROM THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, DEMOGORGON! SO RUN AWAYYYYYY, K GO AWAY, DEMOGORGON. AND THEN EL SLAYED, YAY, SENT AWAY, DEMOGORGON. OOOHH, OOOH, WILL SEEMS ALMOST NEW., DID BARB MAKE IT THROUGH?. OOOOH, OOOHH, NOW WE’LL MOVE ONTO, SEASON 2. WONDER WHY, IF WE WON WHY DO I, I FIND A SENTIENT SLIME, OUT IN OUR POLLUTION? GOTTA SAY, THAT GUY BOB SEEMS OKAY, BUT FLAYERS ARE GONNA FLAY, GUESS IT’S RETRIBUTION! AND SO I FIND IN TIME THERE’S A REAL COMMON THREAD, IF YOUR NAME STARTS WITH B, YOU’LL END UP DEAD. AND WHY DOESN’T HOPPER JUST BECOME A BREWER? AND IF WE ALL BAND TOGETHER WE’LL DESTROY THAT HIVE, WITH A SWEET 80’S JAM, I COULD SAVE SOME LIVES, SO LET’S SING TIL THEIR STORY IS DONE, DEMOGORGON! THEN MISTER FLAY, HEY SENDS HIS STRAYS, DEMOGORGONS. BUT THAT’S OKAY, HEY, I SAY NAY, DEMOGORGON. SO JOIN THE FREY, BAE, WANNA PLAY, DEMOGORGON. YOU’RE GONNA PAY, AND RUE THE DAY DAY DAY DAY THAT YOU PREYED, DEMOGORGON. OOOH, OOOH, OOOH, OOOH MANY A DAY BUT WE’LL WAIT UNTIL, YOU AND YOUR ILK GET UP IN OUR GRILL, AGAIN, AND FACE ERADICATION.

NO WAY, YOU’LL NEVER GET AWAY, GOT A TALL GUY COMING AFTER YOU. AND SOMEHOW, HE MUST BE ENDOWED, LIFTIN WOOD LIKE IT’S NO TO-DO. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT THEIR BOY TOMMY, HAD A GRAVEYARD SCREW, HE’S WORM FOOD NOW. SICK BEATS, WHEN REG AND JODY MEET, ALWAYS JAMMIN’ WHEN THOSE BROS HANG OUT. BEFORE, WE EVEN YELL ENCORE, WELL THEY’RE BUSTIN’ ALL THE FREE BIRDS OUT. JODY GOT PLANS TO DITCH THIS PARTY, LEAVING MIKE BEHIND, IF HE’S ALLOWED. BUT EVERYBODY’S BUSINESS MIKE IS MINDING, HE'S PEEPING IN THE GRAVEYARD WHERE THEY'RE GRINDING, CREEPY JAWAS CHASE HIM OFF AND MIKE I'M TELLIN' YOU, IT'S ALL OVER NOW IT’S GONE CRAZY, BLOOD'S SQUIRTING OUT OF HEADS LIKE GRAVY CUZ THAT DUDE’S TALL HE’S GOT KILLER BALLS NO WAY, IT’S LIKE A MUSTARD SPRAY, FROM THAT SLAMMING FINGERTIP BOO-BOO. OH WOW, A FLY IN HIS BROW, GET HIM OFF MIKE I HEAR THEY SPEW TOMMY LEAKING ON BASKIN ROBBINS, IS FLAVOR 32, SO SCARF IT DOWN. A HEARSE GOES BY WITH OOOMPA LOOMPAS DRIVING, CAN’T RUN A FUNERAL HOME WITH FOLKS REVIVING, JODY HOPE TO SEE YOU BACK HERE IN PHANTASM 2, OOOPS, I SPOKE TO SOON. YEAH IT’S CRAZY, BLOOD'S SQUIRTING OUT OF HEADS LIKE GRAVY. THEY’RE KINDA SMALL, BUT THEY’RE KILLER BALLS. IT’S GONE CRAZY, BLOOD'S SQUIRTING OUT OF HEADS LIKE GRAVY. CUZ THAT DUDE TALL, HE’S GOT KILLER BALLS!

CHATTED ON TINDER TIL, SHE SAID NEVER WILL, BE A ROCKY HORROR FAN. WELL THOSE WORDS WERE A SIN, AND SINCE SHE WAS A VIRGIN, I’D CHANGE HER MIND IF GIVEN THE CHANCE. I DIDN’T THINK TWICE, WHEN I TOLD HER PACK RICE, KNEW IT OUGHTA BE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. NOT KNOWING WHAT’S IN STORE, SHE OPENED UP THE DOOR, AND SAW ME DRESSED AS A SWEET TRANSVESTITE… FOR A BLIND DATE AT A MIDNIGHT FEATURE, PERFECT PLACE FOR ME TO MEET HER. HER FACE TURNED RED AS A POMEGRANATE, BUT WILL THIS NIGHT GO, THE WAY I PLANNED IT? FOR THIS DATE NIGHT MIDNIGHT FEATURE ROCKY SHOW. SHE SAID “HI, MY NAME’S CAROL”, LOOKED AT MY APPAREL, SAID I’VE GOT SECOND THOUGHTS ‘BOUT OUR DATE. BUT BEFORE SHE COULD FLIP, WELL I WHIPPED OUT MY SCRIPT, AND SAID JUST JUST LISTEN YOU CAN PARTICIPATE. AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE, FEAR ON HER FACE, I’M GUESSING THAT I WENT TO FAR. BUT SHE TIME WARPED RIGHT, AND THEN LATER THAT NIGHT, SHE’S YELLING TOUCH-A, TOUCH ME IN MY CAR… AT OUR BLIND DATE AT MIDNIGHT FEATURE, BOX IS CHECKED, I KNEW I’D REACH HER. BROKE THROUGH WALLS AS HARD AS GRANITE, WE’LL TELL OUR KIDS WHERE THEIR FOLKS BEGAN IT. AT THAT DATE NIGHT MIDNIGHT FEATURE ROCKY SHOW, SHE DIDN’T SAY NO, AT THAT DATE NIGHT MIDNIGHT FEATURE ROCKY SHOW, IT DIDN’T BLOW, AT THAT DATE NIGHT MIDNIGHT FEATURE ROCKY SHOW, BRING SOME MEAT LOAF, TO OUR DATE NIGHT MIDNIGHT FEATURE ROCKY SHOW.

HELLO SYDNEY. AGAIN? DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES? SCREW YOU! WELL THEN… I’M THE THE FINAL GIRL, IN THIS HORROR WORLD NOT IN PLASTIC, OR A CASKET CHASE ME IF YOU DARE, COME AT ME I DON’T CARE STRONG AND PATIENT, YOUR FRUSTRATION GOT MY MASK AND LET’S START SLASHIN’ I’M THE FINAL GIRL, IN THIS HORROR WORLD I’M A CLASSIC, WHEN IT’S DRASTIC YOU GAVE ME ONE GOOD SCARE, WITH THAT KITCHENWARE, THIS HOME INVASION WILL CAUSE YOUR AMPUTATION! WHEN YOU LOOK AT THIS GIRL, YOU SEE A VIRGINOUS PEARL, BRING IT ON, GOT ALL NIGHT, THAT’S YOUR FOLLY MAKE YOUR STAND, KNIFE IN HAND, BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK, I’LL END UP BURNING LIKE A TAMALE THIS IS SUCH, A FINE DAY TO BLOW TWO BEST FRIENDS AWAY I’M THE FINAL GIRL, IN THIS HORROR WORLD I’M SCHOLASTIC AND GYMNASTIC TRY ME BUT BEWARE, YOU JUST MET YOUR NIGHTMARE SPURNED TEMPTATION, NOW I’M YOU’RE DAMNATION COME ON LAURIE, LET’S GET GORY (NO NO NO NO) COME ON GINNY, YOU CAN’T WINNY (OOOH, OOOH) COME ON SALLY, INCREASE MY TALLY (NO NO NO NO) COME ON ALICE, FEEL MY MALICE (OOOH, OOOH) YOU CAN STALK, YOU CAN SHOCK, I WON’T RUN, I WON’T FLEE BUT I DON’T NEED A MAN HERE TO COME RESCUE ME I WILL KILL, BE YOUR END, MAKE YOU SCREAM, HEAR YOU SQUEAL, BUT CAN YOU HELP ME OUT, UMMM…WEAR THESE HIGH HEELS? THINK YOU’RE TOUGH, THEN COME PLAY I’M A TROPE THAT WILL ENDURE HAD ENOUGH, NOW YOU’LL PAY. BOOBY TRAPPED, THIS HOUSE UP YOURS WHO’S NEXT? TIRED OF STALKING, LET’S TRY WALKING (NO NO NO NO) NOT A FAIR BLOCK, OUT THE AIRLOCK (OOOH, OOOH) COME ON PRESCOTT, TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT (NO NO NO NO) COME ON NANCY, NOTHING FANCY (OOOH, OOOH) “I’VE GOT THE BODY AND THE BRAINS” I’M THE FINAL GIRL, IN THIS HORROR WORLD HE’S JURASSIC, I’M BOMBASTIC RUNNING WITH A FLARE, LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT ENSNARED, JUBILATION, AT YOUR DEVASTATION DID I STAMMER, OUCH A HAMMER HAPPY DEATH DAY, POISONED CUPCAKE?! YOU CAN’T CON ME, OH, HI MOMMY! GET THIS FRIGHT ON, YOU TURNED LIGHTS ON I CAN’T TAKE IT, NEED A BREAK AND NO CAN WE QUIT, I NEED RESPITE JUST ONE MINUTE, OH, I’M FINISHED GUESS I’M OUTCLASSED, WOMEN KICK ASS OH I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN SEE YOU IN THE SEQUEL?

I’M PACKING UP MY SHIT, HEADING DOWN THE HIGHWAY, AIN’T GOT NO NEED TO PIT, WHO’S GOING MY WAY LOOK THERE’S A NEON SIGN, DAMN, IT’S A BOSS DAY, TO MEET THAT GIRL SO FINE, IN FREAKY COS-PLAY. IT’S TIME TO BRING THE HIVE IN, GONNA PARTY AT THE DRIVE-IN, AND IT ALREADY FEELS LIKE HOME. YOU FEEL YOUR BODY SPASM, IT’S A ONE NIGHT HORROR-GASM, SO STAND BACK, WE’RE ABOUT TO BLOW… HEY EVERYBODY, WELL THEY’RE BACK IN TOWN, GETTIN’ GONE, BRING IT ON, WHILE SHE DONS THE CROWN, AND EVERY MUTANT BOW DOWN, WE ALL HAIL THE MAILGIRL QUEEN, SO HOT, YOU CAN FEEL THE FLAME, AND EVERYONE ONE US, GONNA SQUEAL THE SAME, WHEN SHE’S ON THE SCREEN, YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CAME, WE ALL HAIL THE MAILGIRL QUEEN. YOU KNOW SHE’S WHERE IT’S AT, SHE RULES THIS WHOLE PLACE, SHE’LL DROP A TERROR FACT, THEN MAKE YOUR HEART RACE. SHE CHEWS UP ALL ATTACKS, RIGHT TO THE MARROW, JUST LIKE A VEGAN SNACK, AT CRACKER BARREL. A FANGO WRITING KILLA, AND SHE BROUGHT THE WORLD HOGZILLA, CAN’T FEEL DOWN, WHEN SHE’S ON DISPLAY, SHE’LL ANSWER EVERY MENTION, WITH COMPASSIONATE ATTENTION, UNLESS TOM ATKINS CAME TO PLAY… HEY EVERYBODY, WELL THEY’RE BACK IN TOWN, GETTIN’ GONE, BRING IT ON, WHILE SHE DONS THE CROWN, AND EVERY MUTANT BOW DOWN, WE ALL HAIL THE MAILGIRL QUEEN, SO HOT, YOU CAN FEEL THE FLAME, AND EVERYONE ONE US, GONNA SQUEAL THE SAME, WHEN SHE’S ON THE SCREEN, YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CAME, WE ALL HAIL THE MAILGIRL QUEEN. DUDE, SHE BROKE THE INTERNET! HEY EVERYBODY, WELL THEY’RE BACK IN TOWN, GETTIN’ GONE, BRING IT ON, WHILE SHE DONS THE CROWN, AND EVERY MUTANT BOW DOWN, WE ALL HAIL THE MAILGIRL QUEEN, SO HOT, YOU CAN FEEL THE FLAME, AND EVERYONE ONE US, GONNA SQUEAL THE SAME, WHEN SHE’S ON THE SCREEN, YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CAME, WE ALL HAIL THE MAILGIRL QUEEN.

YOU, DOING THAT THING YOU DO, BREAKING MY PARTS INTO A MILLION PIECES TIL’ I’M ONLY GOO. AND YOU DON’T MEAN TO BE CRUEL, YOU ONLY WANTED TO ASSIMILATE US, MAKE US ONLY YOU. WELL YOU TRY AND TRY TO BESET THE WORLD, NOW WE CAN’T TELL WHO IS WHO, EVERY TIME YOU DO THAT THING YOU DO. FLY TO SURVEY THE NORWAY BASE, CAUSE THE LITTLE, TINY STRAY THEY CHASED, MUTATED AND MADE US ALL ITS PREY. AND WE’VE GOTTEN PRETTY KEEN TO LEAVE, CAUSE WE THINK THE CHARRED DEBRIS WE SEE THERE MIGHT BE, THE WORK OF OUR ET. WELL I TRY AND TRY NOT TO UP AND HURL, WHEN THAT TORSO STARTS TO CHEW, SO WHICH OF YOU HAS GOT THAT THING IN YOU. I’VE JUST HAD A THOUGHT, GUYS , EVERY PART’S A SEPARATE SPORE , POKE THE BLOOD WITH SOMETHING HOT, GUYS, AND WE’LL HOPE NO ONE STARTS TO TRANSFORM. NOW WE TAKE A SHOT OF J&B, AS HEROICALLY, WE FREEZE TO STOP AN OUTBREAK, TO SAVE HUMANITY. BUT IT COMES IN SLOW, TIL THE ME I KNOW, IS REPLACED BY SOMETHING NEW. AND IF I KNOW YOU, YOU’RE DOING THAT THING, AND I AM YOU, SO IT’S A SURE THING, WE CAN’T WAIT TO PUT THE THING IN YOU.

AH, IT ALL STARTS WITH HALEY, HEARD ABOUT HER. UH DID YOU HEAR HER FRIENDS AND HER COOKED UP A VIRAL STIR, SIR, OH? NIGHTMARE ON THEIR STREET, THEY PROCLAIMED A CONJURING BUT SOCIAL DISTANCING WAS ENSURED, WORD. I’M PRETTY SURE THAT NO ONE DIES, UNLESS ONE RULE GETS SHIRKED, DON’T TRY TO PULL OFF A LIE, BUT HOW YOU GONNA GET THEM IN ONE ROOM, I GUESS WITH COVID OUT THERE DO A SEANCE ON ZOOM. REALLY. PLOT’S SET, TIE CORD, SO WE DON’T GET A FAKE JUMP SCARE, LET'S LOCK UP THE IRONING BOARD. NOW REDINA AND CAROLINE ARE UP FOR THIS SWELL, GLASS IN HAND READIES EMMA, OOH, TEDDY’S HERE LET’S START THE SHOW, BUT, JUST HOPING THAT THEY CAN TRUST THEIR FRIEND JEMMA. NOW A PSYCHIC TALKING ‘BOUT RESPECT COMES INTO THE ZOOM, ISOCHRONIC BE THE TOMES, HOMES, VIDEO HAS BEEN OPTIMIZED, SO IT’S IN HIGH-DEF WHEN THEY’RE VIRTUALLY HOSED, SO, THE PANDEMIC FORGOTTEN AND THE RECOMMENDED PIGTAILS AND FLOUR, A MUD MASK, MUSIC BOX, CREEPY CLOWN, MAN BUN, WITH! HAPPY SPOOKIES BEGIN AND IF IT’S ALL POSSIBLE, CUT OFF THE ROPE WHEN IT’S DONE. NO ONE’S LEFT WITHIN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED. THEY’RE ALL DEAD WITHIN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, PANIC WEES WERE FLOWING WHEN TED’S FLAMBÉED, THE WORST I’M AFRAID, EMMA’S CAKE WASN’T MADE, AND ALL OUR PANTS WE WERE CRAPPIN’, NO ONE SURVIVED INSIDE THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED. SEYLAN CLAMS: IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO GRANDMA OR A PET, YOU MAY, OOH A PACKAGE STOPS THEIR FOREPLAY, SEYLAN CLAIMS: FALSE SPIRITS AND, WHAT IF WE’RE NOT LUCKY, YOU’RE PROBABLY CURSED, BUT MAYBE OKAY, SEYLAN CLAIMS: IT’S LIKE YOU’VE CREATED A MASK, HEY’S REDINA GOT SO MANY MAGNETS ANYWAY? WE ALL SAY, WELL NOW IT’S GONE OFF KILTER, AND EMMA, PLEASE DON’T SCOFF, BUT TURN OFF, THE FILTER AND… THEY ALL DIED WITHIN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED. NO ONE SURVIVED WITHIN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED. YEAH IT’S REALLY SCARY IF THESE LADIES ARE POSSESSED, BUT, THE KITCHEN HAS BEEN PULVERIZED WHO’S GONNA CLEAN THE MESS? OH DAMN NOW WHO IS THAT TAPPIN’? AND NO ONE’S LEFT WITHIN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED. MEANWHILE, CAROLINE IS CALLING FOR HER DAD PAT, THEN SUDDENLY SHE NEEDS A NEW LAPTOP, THAT’S A PITY. MEANWHILE, JEMMA IS TIGHTENING HER MASK WHICH IS ADMIRAL, SAVE HALEY, AND HITS THE CITY. THEN REDINA REPROACHES THAT HER BLADDER IS UPTIGHT, WHILE ALAN IS LEARNING THAT GRAVITY SUCKS, RIGHT? AFTER EACH QUANDARY WE JUST COME TO ANOTHER, SEYLAN GOT DELIVERY, MAYBE AUBERGINES, BUT I’M PERTURBED, RINGTONE? WHO’S ON THAT PHONE? I DON’T KNOW, THESE WRITERS LIKE TO MESS WITH OUR HEAD’S I SUPPOSE, CUZ IT ALL STARTS GOOD, THEN SHIT ALL GOES ATOMIC, I’VE GOT MORE ANECDOTES, BUT PORNHUB’S A NO-GO, FO SHO. NO! NO ONE ELSE WAS IN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THEY’RE ALL DEAD WITHIN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE HAPPENED, MY PORES ABHOR LOCK DOWN, HIDE A COUGH WITH A FART, AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. SICK DOOM BUT IT HAPPENED. NO ONE SURVIVED INSIDE THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED. EMMA’S WINE MUST WEIGH A TON, JUST WATCHING ALL OF YOU DRINK THROUGH THIS FLICK DOES SOMETHING SHITTY TO MY LIVER. WATCH ‘EM FALLING ONE BY ONE, MISSED A STORM SON WITH CHINESE DINNER, BUT IF YOU GOTTA DIE WEAR YOUR FUZZY SLIPPERS. DIE IS CAST THE DEAL IS DONE, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT A FILM SHOT IN QUARANTINE COULD EVEN BE POSSIBLE? A CAST AND CREW CAME AND MADE SOMETHING HOT, THE GENRE HAS BEEN SAVED, AND THE CHALLENGE HAS BEEN BROUGHT. HOW THEY DID THIS WAS INSANE, OUR UNDERWEAR’S STAINED, WHAT WAS THE WORD AGAIN? DID YOU JUST SAY ASTROPLANE? YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. NOW THEY’RE ALL GONNA TAKE A SHOT! NOW THEY’RE ALL GONNA TAKE A SHOT! OH, WE’VE HIT FULL THROTTLE, WATCH OUT FOR THAT BOTTLE, YOU HOLD UP THE CAMERAL AND YOU, WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT, WAIT! DON’T MEAN TO ASSUME ALL, BUT SAVAGE I’M SURE THAT YOU JUST KILLED OFF ZOOM CALLS. YOU’RE GONNA HOST, YOU’RE GONNA WATCH YOUR, THE MOVIE WE NEED, NOW WE’RE BEGGIN WE NEED MORE. I DON’T WANNA BE IN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, I DON’T WANNA BE IN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED I GOT ATTACKED IN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED, SHUDDER PLEASE, SHUDDER PLEASE YOU’RE SCARIN’ ME. ONE SHOT YOU’LL SOON RECOGNISE, A TRIANGLE SHEET WITH A SINGLE EYE, YOU THINK A VIRUS HAS GOT US SWAYED, THEY ROSE ABOVE AND SAID LET’S GET THIS MOVIE MADE, AND THOUGH WE’VE BEEN PULLED APART, UP YOURS QUARANTINE, YOU CAN’T STOP ART, THEY HAD A DREAM, AND THEY MADE IT HAPPEN, IN THE ZOOM WHERE IT HAPPENED. I GOT TO SEE HOST, AND DAWN OF THE DEAF, AND MULTIPLEX, 1-800-D-DIRECT, AND STALLIN’ IT, OH AND THE BLUMHOUSE FILMS TOO. SICK DOOM.

OFF THE TRAIN OFF THE TRAIN OFF THE TRAIN OFF THE TRAIN I HAVE TRIED TO BE A GOOD DAD, OH I’VE FAILED THOUGH, IMMA TAKE YOU TO MOM, NOW WE’RE ON A TRAIN TO BUSAN. A SICK YOUNG GIRL WITH SYMPTOMS BAD, TRIES SOME TRAIN FOOD, NOW SHE’S CHEWS THROUGH SOMEONE, GET OUTTA OF MY WAY, I GOTTA RUN. WELL, GUESS WE’VE GOT TO MAKE A LITTLE STAND, CUZ THEY WILL GNAW, THEY KILL HIDE IN THE STALL, WE WILL BEING ZOM FOOD’S NOT THE DINNER PLAN SO BUST SOME SKULLS, WE WILL, WE’LL TAKE ‘EM ALL. GET ME OFF THE TRAIN, GET ME OFF THE TRAIN, ‘FORE THEY EAT MY BRAINS, GET ME OFF THIS TRAIN. THIS REALLY IS A PAIN, SHOULD’VE TOOK A PLANE, GET ME OFF THIS TRAIN. MMM-MMM. I HAVE TRIED TO THINK UP A PLAN, I DECIDE TO STICK LIKE HELL TO THE ONES, A-BATTING HEADS AH LIKE HOME RUNS, THEN CRAWLING UP THE LUGGAGE STAND. STAY REAL QUIET THOUGH, PRAY THAT THERE AIN’T NO SUN, WE’LL GET AWAY, OH HERE THEY COME. WELL, JUST A SWIFT STOMP ON A SODA CAN, WE’LL SOON BE MAULED, NO DOUBT, WE BETTER HAUL ASS OUT. MY NEW PAL JUST WENT ALL SPITTLE HAND, BEFORE HE FALLS, HIS KID, THE NAME HE CALLS. GET ME OFF THE TRAIN, AND SEND HIM NOVACAINE, GET ME OFF THIS TRAIN. MMMM-WHOOO. I HAVE BOOTED OFF THAT EVIL MAN, ‘K IT’S A DRAW, OH HELL, CAN’T WIN ‘EM ALL, OH WELL, I WILL SAY GOODBYE NOW WHILE I CAN, AND AS I FALL, YOU KNOW, YOU ALL WILL BAWL. GET ME OFF THE TRAIN, GET ME OFF THE TRAIN, GET ME OFF THIS TRAIN, MY DAUGHTER SAVED THE DAY, SINGING HER REFRAIN.

HER PEA SOUP VOMIT IS RUNNY, HER HEAD IS SPINNING IN ALL DIRECTIONS, AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BENEDICTIONS, SHE CRIES OUT.. IT SEEMS THIS PRIEST HAS HER NUMBER, AND STARTS INVOKING A CONDEMNATION, BUT THROUGH THE SPITTLE AND THE DEFAMATION, SHE FLOATS NOW. REGAN’S PART OF EVIL’S PLOY, A CRUCIFIX IS NOT A TOY! THE CARPET IN THE DEN’S NO PLACE TO GO. HOLY WATER (BUT IT'S TAP), HELP ME WRITTEN, ON HER LAP, BABYSITTER’S THROWN OUT THE WINDOW. BUT OH THAT PESKY DEMON, WANTS HOLY WAR. MERRIN GOT IT STEAMIN’, NOW HE'S ON THE FLOOR… DEAD ON THE FLOOR! AHHHHHHHHH! LEAVE HER BE! EXIT THE GIRL AND YOU CAN COME INTO ME! MANY MILES AWAY FROM HERE AN EXECUTION'S STARTING TO TAKE PLACE... TUMBLE-ING, DOWN STAIRS… NECK BREAKS. IT’S TRUE… NECK BREAKS. HE’S SCREWED… NECK BREAKS. BUT HE’S NOT DEAD NO NO NO NO NO…. 1234567, DEADLY SINS KEEP YOU FROM HEAVEN

HERE COMES STEPHEN KING… HERE COMES STEPHEN KING… THAT GUY’S ALWAYS WRITING, MAKING STORIES FRIGHTENING. MAKE WAY FOR THE KING! CHRISTINE, CARRIE, CUJO, DANSE MACABRE, THINNER, UNDER THE DOME, SHINING, LISEY’S STORY, SALEM’S LOT, RAGE, CHINGA, MIS’RY, DEAD ZONE, MIST, IT, SECRET WINDOW, THE GREEN MILE, TOMMYKNOCKERS, CREEPSHOW….

MEAN FARMER VINCENT RUNS A MOTEL, KILLS CLIENTELE, TO MAKE HIS FRITTERS. PLANTS PEOPLE ALL IN A ROW. BURIES THEM AND CUTS OUT THEIR THROATS. NEON SIGN IS MISSING AN “O”. SUCH A MEAN OLD MAN! SUCH A MEAN OLD MAN! HIS SISTER IDA HELPS WITH THIS FEAT, SMOKES ALL THEIR MEAT, HUMAN BEEF JERKY. SHERIFF BRUCE IS ON THE ALERT. DUELING CHAINSAWS, VINCENT IS HURT. IDA’S UPSIDE DOWN IN THE DIRT. SUCH A CREEPY ‘OL FAM! CREEPY ‘OL FAM!

WELL YOU SHOULD SEE BUFFALO BILL! HE'S SO GOOD LOOKING BUT HE GIVES YOU THE CHILLS. SEE HOW HE’S KILLIN’ WITH SPUNK, ALL WHILE HE’S TUCKIN’ HIS JUNK, YES, YOU SHOULD SEE BUFFALO BILL! YEAH YEAH YEAH! YEAH, HE’S TOTALLY PUT OFF BY HIS DICK. A SUIT OF WOMEN’S SKIN COULD JUST DO THE TRICK! WELL IF HE GIVES YOU THE NOTION, YOU SHOULD PUT ON THE LOTION, YOU COULD SAY HIS METHODOLOGY’S SICK. YEAH YEAH YEAH! OH, LOOK OUT

HE LOOKED INTO THE BATHROOM WINDOW. THE ONE HE HACKED OUT OF THE DOOR. BUT FIRST HE MADE WITH AN OLD GHOST, IN A ROOM, ON THE SECOND FLOOR COULDN’T ANYBODY HELP THEM? SEEMS HE’S A GONE A BIT CRAZY. WRITING ‘BOUT ALL WORK AND NO PLAY, ONLY WORDS TIL CHAPTER THREE. NOW GOOD OL’ DICK HAS GOT THE ANSWERS. HE SAYS THAT DANNY SHINES TODAY, BUT MR. HALLORAN TOOK CHANCES. DIDN’T NEED THOSE RIBS ANYWAY. THEY THOUGHT THE OVERLOOK WAS VACANT, BUT THERE RESIDES A GHOSTLY MOB. AND WHAT ABOUT THAT PESKY NOVEL, COME ON JACK, YOU HAD JUST ONE JOB. BREAKING HIS WAY OUT THE FREEZER, KILLING DANNY WAS HIS GOAL. JACK CAN’T FIND HIS WAY THROUGH THAT MAZE. HE’S A PSYCHO POPSICLE.

ONCE I WAS AFRAID, TO SLEEP ON ELM STREET. ONCE I WAS AFRAID, TO SLEEP ALONE. HERE’S YOUR ALARM, I’LL SHOW THIS GUY, WHERE HE CAN SHOVE HIS LULLABY. CRIMSON SLUMBERS TIL I RISE, KNIVES LIKE BATH BOMBS ‘TWEEN MY THIGHS. CREEPING IN OUR DREAMS, DO NOT TRY, YA GIRL IS ON A JAVA HIGH. ONCE I DOZED AWAY, TO SONGS OF SWEET WORDS… NOW I STAY AWAKE, AND POP NO-DOZE. KEEP COMING AT ME, I WILL FIGHT! THIS FINAL GIRL CAN GO ALL NIGHT.

BOY, NOW DON’T YOU BURY THAT GAGE, BURY THAT GAGE AT TWILIGHT! BOY, NOW DON’T YOU BURY THAT GAGE, BURY THAT GAGE, IT AIN’T RIGHT! AT FIRST IT ALL SEEMED SO CHILL THOUGH, OUR SON TURNED INTO A SICK MUTATION. WE SHOULD HAVE SETTLED FOR A QUICK CREMATION, LET’S PLAY NOW! BOY, NOW DON’T YOU BURY THAT GAGE, BURY THAT GAGE AT TWILIGHT! BOY, NOW DON’T YOU BURY THAT GAGE, BURY THAT GAGE, IT AIN’T RIGHT!

OH YEAH! SLEEP TIGHT! THEY’RE ALL GONNA BE IN YOUR DREAMS….TONIGHT… 1.THE THING 2. THE RING 3. WOLF MAN 4. ALIEN 5. FRANKENSTEIN 6. AND HIS BRIDE 7.POLTERGEIST 8. SESSION 9 9. EVIL DEAD 10. LIVING DEAD 11. PUMPKINHEAD 12. AND DEEP RED 13 THE DESCENT 14. MALIGNANT 15. CANDYMAN 16 WICKER MAN 17.THE BLAIR WITCH 18. INSIDIOUS 19. SLEEPAWAY 20. CHILD’S PLAY 21. DRACULA 22. GODZILLA 23. JAWS AND SCREAM 24. HALLOWEEN AND IN THE END, THOUGH CREDITS ROLL THEY’LL LIVE RENT FREE INSIDE YOUR SOUL

THAT ANTHONY'S A REALLY GOOD BOY, AND THAT'S ALL THAT I'M ALLOWED TO SAY. THAT ANTHONY'S A REALLY GOOD BOY, EVERYTHING HE DOES IS GREAT. I WANNA TELL HIM THAT I HATE HIM A LOT, BUT I THINK I'D REALLY RATHER STAY ALIVE. THAT ANTHONY'S A REALLY GOOD BOY, AND EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS FINE, OH NO, NOW I AM A CORNFIELD GUY.