“Learn Kung Fu”

Parody of “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 (Adam Levine, Cirkut, Cardi B, Starrah, Jason Evigan, and Gian Stone)

New lyrics by Jeff Whitmire and Ian Bonds


I quit the glee chorus,
Studied Chuck Norris, and then,
I spent the past year,
Binged the career, of Chan.
I’ve got a sensai, works by the buffet,
Know the one?
Now it’s wax on, here, and it’s wax off there,
Daniel-san

I’ll learn Kung Fu,
The bullies won’t mess with me,
Everyone, will say I’m cool,
When I go all Bruce on you, (hai-yah)
Average guy,
Trained at Cobra-Kai,
Watch me break a board or two,
That’s why I’ll learn Kung Fu. (hai-yah)

Hai-ya-ha
Hai-ya-ha
I need to learn Kung Fu (hai-yah)

You can’t stop me,
Fast as Jet Li, you know.
Once I start howlin’
Releasing my Shaolin, like Po.
I’ll take away your breath, in this Game of Death
Don’t test me.
My foes are history, flawless victory,
Fatali-ty (Yah!)

I’ll learn Kung Fu,
Run ‘round in my gi,
‘Cause I want you to know,
This black belt ain’t for show (hai-yah)
Dragon Style
Makes the girlies smile,
When I wanna impress you,
I’ll go and learn Kung Fu. (hai-yah)

Hai-ya-ha
Hai-ya-ha
I need to learn Kung Fu



Hai-ya-ha
Hai-ya-ha
Whoa, I know Kung Fu

I’ve got a Fistful of Yen,
I’ll battle hundreds of men,
Watch as my hustle just leaves you all Shanghaied. (yeah)
Try out my new one inch punch,
Feeling your sternum go crunch,
Now you are seeing your spleen on the outside.


Not too long ago, I was fighting with quarters
Every single instance of Kombat was Mortal
You don't wanna mess with me, I'm too crazy
Knock you out, Spinning Bird Kick like i’m Chun Li
Someone tried to take away my lunch
So I hit ‘em with a Dragon Punch
Harness my chi into a Ha-do-ken
Think you can beat me? Ha, Shor-yu-ken!
Why are my best moves always from games?
Is it ‘cause Iron Fist’s 1st season was lame?
The glowing hand’s hard to do
The fights got better in season 2, I get it though
I don’t really think that I should be braggin’
That I’ve seen Kung Pow more than Enter the Dragon
I really should give this Karate Kid a chance
But this yellow belt clashes with all of my pants

Chorus:

I’ll learn Kung Fu,
I'm centering up my chi,
Hanging at my dojo,
Brushing up on Tai-Kwan-do (hai-yah)
Moves so sick,
Check out my round house kick,
One chop will take down you,

That’s why I’ll learn Kung Fu. (hai-yah)

Hai-ya-ha
Hai-ya-ha
I need to learn Kung Fu

Hai-ya-ha
Hai-ya-ha
That’s why I’ll learn Kung Fu


Hai-ya-ha
Hai-ya-ha
Whoa, I know Kung Fu